This doesn’t mean you are in some sort of grave sin.
It doesn’t mean you are going to hell.
It doesn’t mean you’re not a “good Christian” (whatever that phrase means anyways).
Listen to what the Psalmist wrote:
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me. (Psalm 13, ESV)
The feeling that you have been abandoned–however frequently it occurs to believers at every stage of spiritual growth–is most certainly a lie.
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10 ESV)
The Psalmist knew these feelings well, and he also knew the antidote. He knew the key to fighting these terrible feelings was remembering the great things that God has done. No matter what happens, we can trust God, because he revealed himself to us fully in Jesus.
Jesus, who took nails and thorns and your betrayal, and turned them into something lifegiving…
Jesus, the man who endured death and came out the other side victorious over it…
All for the love of his people, those that would believe in him.
Do you feel abandoned by God? Remember that feelings are just that–feelings–and are not always reality. Continue to return to Reality.