NRH2014
- Teachers teach.
- Prophets prophecy.
- Those with the gifts of tongues speak.
- It's a bit awkward at first; you might not know what to say
- This will inevitably drive you to say more than you should
- After a significant time investment, that awkwardness will melt away to an easy familiarity
- Silence will then often be sweet and full of meaning
- Even after this, it will take work to maintain the relationship; you will be constantly challenged
3 reasons you should be savoring Advent to better celebrate Christmas
Christmas is all the rage in our culture right now…but I say we slow down and do something counter-cultural.
Let’s savor Advent so we can better celebrate Christmas.
Here are 3 reasons why:
1) You'll get more of the Gospel
The Christian liturgical year allows for the whole story of Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection to be lived out and celebrated. Part of that story is a long time of waiting with an expectant hope based on God’s promises. Advent is when you get to remember and celebrate that part of the story, the prologue, if you will. It’s still part of adoring Jesus and celebrating his birth, but it keeps us from rushing through the story.
2) You'll actually get more Christmas, if you think about it.
Christmas doesn’t start the day after Thanksgiving and culminate on December 25…it starts on December 25 and is traditionally celebrated for–wait for it–12 days. That means you could extend and enhance your celebration and appreciation of Christ’s birth if you began with Advent.
3) You'll be in-step with the Church
The liturgical seasons are one way of unifying the whole Church, past and present. Most Christians still celebrate Advent. To participate in Advent as a priority over the secular “Christmas season” is a way of connecting with the universal Church and keeping the focus firmly on Jesus–not just individually, but as a covenant community.
How and why do you celebrate Advent?
How a dreaded chore became a sacramental action
Once upon a time I hated washing the dishes.
The left over, sticky food residue was smelly and repulsive to the touch, especially after procrastinating. It seemed like a waste of time, a boring chore that had to be done every day. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves with conversation, entertainment, or creating more work for me by eating dessert or drinking coffee while I was still cleaning up. It wasn’t torture, but it sure wasn’t fun.
I hated washing the dishes.
Then I got married to a woman who hates washing dishes more than I do. We entered into our marriage with a loose agreement: she would cook, I would clean.
Turns out she was (and still is) an amazing cook, but I wasn’t so great at consistently washing the dishes. I still disliked doing them, and still procrastinated. But I disliked it a little less, because I knew that what I was doing was contributing to the home and to the relationship we were building together.
Over time, I came to appreciate the feeling of satisfaction that comes from doing a simple task well. The rhythm of washing, rinsing, drying, and putting away became a place to think and learn and even pray. I started to appreciate how much less disgusting it was to wash the dishes immediately after meals. I found I was especially thankful for warm water (especially in the winter) and–when we moved to place that had one–electricity for the dishwasher to take most of the hard work.
My wife always says thank you when I do the dishes, sometimes with a hug or a peck on the cheek, and that becomes for me a sacred–dare I say sacramental– moment. The wonderful meal cooked out of love for me and the children, the washing and cleaning of pots and pans and plates, a thank you kiss. It’s all part of the liturgy of the family, and after all, a sacrament is an outward sign of an inward grace.
Now, I know washing the dishes cannot be a sacrament in same sense as Holy Communion, Baptism, or even Marriage. Yet in some small way, washing the dishes has transformed from a necessary task, to a discipline, to even (on rare occasions) a treasured ritual.
A once dreaded chore has become a precious, outward sign of the inward grace of being spiritually bound to my family. Somehow, washing the dishes became a sacramental action.
Once upon a time, I hated washing the dishes. I still don’t always like washing the dishes.
But now, I love washing the dishes.
How to have a life-changing mentoring conversation
I’ve spent the last three or so years mentoring college-age men in both one-on-one and group settings. One of my initial challenges was figuring out what I should be talking about so I could effectively lead the conversation and make the most of our time together. It doesn’t help that the goals of many mentoring relationships are somewhat vague (learn from the mentor’s mistakes, become a better Christian, etc.)
After my first year as a formal mentor, four essential conversation categories emerged for me. These make up a focused, productive, and ultimately life-changing mentoring conversation. Each of your mentoring sessions should generally include all of these elements (though not always in identical proportions).
1) Relationship building
Relationship building is how I start most of my meetings. This is where you look for opportunities to connect with the person you are mentoring on a personal level. Ask questions about their background if you’re just getting to know them, or about their day or week a little later in the relationship.
Use this time to simply enjoy conversation about topics of mutual interest. If you have the time it’s also great to do something fun and meaningful together. On occasion you may devote your entire session to relationship building. Although it may not seem particularly productive, spending the time up front to simply get to know the person you are mentoring and allowing them to get to know you will lay the foundation for a trusting relationship. Without a certain level of trust, it’s impossible to be an effective mentor.
2) Accountability
Accountability is the tough part of any relationship (and thus, the easiest to let slide), but I promise you will be rewarded as you lean into it. Mentoring relationships usually entail some sort of commitment… Has your mentee followed through?
Ask the tough questions, and don’t let difficult subjects slide by…but remember to practice a lot of grace, mercy, and love as well. Don’t be afraid of awkward silence–embrace it. Sometimes the person you are mentoring will need a few moments to think about how to answer a particularly personal or probing question.
3) Teaching
It’s easy for the teaching step to get lost in the shuffle (especially when you’re having fun relationship building) but a massive part of being a mentor is helping others learn. For them to learn, you have to teach.
Don’t think it needs to be a lecture, though. Never forget the power of teaching through asking leading questions and genuinely listening even as you offer thoughtful feedback. You should always be willing to be vulnerable and share your mistakes, but don’t forget that now isn’t the time for you to be on a soapbox.
4) Prayer
I close every one-on-one with those I mentor with prayer. Few people have someone with whom they can pray with regularly, and I consider it a particular honor to be able to be that person for some of the men I mentor. Make sure to allow plenty of time for this as well (at least 15 minutes). I’ve found that asking someone how you can pray for them can lead to some very honest and very encouraging conversations…sometimes this can be the deepest and most meaningful part of our time together!
How could implementing these four elements improve your own conversations with those you mentor? Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!
My top 3 spiritual struggles
If there’s one thing I’m not a fan of, it’s the goes-without-saying assumption that Christian leaders should basically pretend like they never struggle with anything, at least not in the present. If it was a long time ago, that’s okay, because it’s in the past. But we really can’t have our leaders admitting weakness in the here and now, right? Wrong!
If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. (2 Corinthians 11:30 ESV)
Time for a trip to the confessional. Without further ado, here are 3 spiritual struggles that are ongoing for me.
1) Death to Self
I am entirely too self-absorbed. When I should be thinking of others, I think of myself, often at their expense. This is expressed in me acting like a real jerk (usually to the people I should love the most). Irritability and impatience too often get the best of me, along with childish reactions when I don’t get my way or when things don’t go according to (my) plan.
2) Discipline
I write and talk a lot about discipline, because it’s one of my own problem points. Although I have–by God’s grace–experienced some measure of success in this area, I know I have a long way to go. I become discouraged quickly when things get difficult, and it’s a struggle to maintain the discipline I have built. It takes tremendous effort every single day, and I fail in some regard in this area constantly. It’s three steps forward, two back. There’s steady progress, but not without consistent setbacks.
3) Distraction
I suppose this is sort of a sub-struggle of #2 and definitely related also to #1. I am so easily distracted from what should be the most important things in my life: faith, family, ministry. My days often seem to slip through my fingers. Before I know it I’ve wasted hours tracking a pointless Internet debate or with a mindless, unnecessary task that serves to help me avoid starting a more difficult (but also more important) project. I even distract myself from legitimate rest and relaxation by prioritizing work at the wrong time.
I don’t write this to wallow in, justify, or glorify my sin. Nor am I attempting to elicit any kind of pity. I just think that–as a Christian leader–it’s important to acknowledge that I am as flawed as everyone one else. I struggle day-to-day with following Jesus, just like everybody else.
Just like you, I’m fighting the old man with God’s help, every day.
How could admitting weakness change your ministry for the better?
Stop resisting God's grace. Start resisting false gods.
My pastor has been preaching on it. My friends and coworkers have been practicing it. It keeps coming up in conversation.
Sabbath.
It is a consecrated, dedicated time of rest. It is a time of remembrance of all that God has done. It is a covenant sign that we are God’s people; we do not belong to this world.
It is a gift.
It is not about hard-and-fast rules, but avoiding a legalistic approach has become my excuse to all but abandon Shabbat.
It’s obvious that individuals and societies are less healthy for not observing the Sabbath. The cycle of production and consumption never ends in a Sabbath-less life. We allow our actions to be driven by an anxious-yet-subtle whisper in our heads, “what if…
What if I don’t work today? How will I pay the bills? What if I don’t commit to this social event? How can maintain all of my friendships? What if I don’t volunteer for this church program, won’t I let my congregation down? What if I get bored?
This is not the Life Abundant that Jesus came to give us.
Sabbath is resistance to the false gods of anxiety, consumerism, pride, and restlessness.
Our Spirit-filled new life in Christ is one of freedom from slavery to sin, worry, and ignorance. We are even set free from slavery to ourselves.
We are free, and God takes care of us now.
Practicing Sabbath is an act of faith. It is to act in trust of God’s goodness.
As I mediate on these things, I realize it’s time for me to stop resisting God’s grace, and start resisting false gods. It’s time for me to quit submitting to the yoke of slavery and to live free. It’s time to begin taking Sabbath seriously again.
Do you also feel like it’s time to begin treating the Sabbath with more seriousness? Let me know in the comments!
4 reasons I’m afraid of silence
This quote has been haunting me for weeks
This quote by one of my favorite Christian authors has been haunting me for weeks.
No short cut exists for a deeper spiritual life...the man who would know God must give time to Him.~ A. W. Tozer
Haunting me because I know it is true and no talk of “quality over quantity” can ever fully extinguish the conviction I have in my own soul that I don’t spend enough time with God.
I know all too well (when I am being honest with myself) that the first thing to go when I get really busy is my devotional time. I’ve gotten better at holding steady in periods of moderate busyness, but when things start really going crazy I tend to simply forget. Talk about twisted priorities.
When my mind starts going a million-miles-a-minute I just don’t yet have the discipline to quiet it for long enough. I need to work on that.
I’m learning to rest, but it’s not easy.
I realize that often, I’d sooner take an hour to read a book about communion with God than actually give him those same moments. I think it’s because it’s so much easier to absorb someone else’s thoughts than put in the effort to still myself enough to hear from God. Listening–really listening–often takes so much more effort than speaking.
I’m learning that it takes a certain quantity of time to learn how to have the highest quality time.
It’s become newly apparent to me that God wants a real, personal relationship with me and you. You and I both know real relationships require an investment of time in order to deepen and grow. Real relationships require giving up some things because being with the other person is simply worth it.
Who could be more worth it than God?
My Top 3 Leadership Struggles
Freedom is more than liberty
I used to buy into the idea that freedom was about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I thought freedom was primarily the ability the make my own choices.
Then I realized that while that’s part of it, the ability to make my own choices was never enough for true spiritual freedom, because I tend to make selfish choices that keep me enslaved to sin.
In the Bible freedom is more about identity (who we are) than choice (doing what we want), and that identity is always connected to Jesus through the Holy Spirit.
In a letter to the church at Corinth, St. Paul wrote:
Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17)
And what does the Spirit do? He changes our hearts to be more like Christ, because Christ perfectly shows us the Father, and as image-bearers of God, this was our original design as human beings!
We are set free, Paul says in Romans 8:4, “in order to fulfill the righteous requirement of the law.” What’s the righteous requirement?
At the most basic level it’s to do good works, to worship God. It is to show forth, to demonstrate, to radiate the beauty and goodness and love of God.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that when we are doing these things we are displaying the image of God to the world.
Here’s a way think about this idea of identity being the crucial aspect of freedom: Imagine a fish. Regardless of the set of choices in front of him, freedom for the fish is to swim! He was created for it!
Freedom for a bird is to fly. Freedom for trees is to grow. Freedom for you and I is to give glory to God by living in a loving relationship with him!
What's the point of spiritual gifts?
In his first letter to the church at Corinth, the Apostle Paul describes what he calls “spiritual gifts.” These charisms are special abilities given in grace to the believer by the Holy Spirit. The gifts that Paul describes enable spiritual growth and help Christians to live out God’s purpose for them in love.
How to develop and discover your spiritual gifts
The spiritual gifts are important to spiritual formation, because identifying how we are gifted (or perhaps not gifted) can help Christians know where to concentrate our disciplines. If your spiritual gift is teaching, for example, you may recognize this and emphasize the importance of the discipline of study. Or, you may find that edification or encouragement is an area where you have room to grow, so you may consider spending time in meditation on passages about God’s promises and faithfulness.
If you sense a faltering in your faith, you might fast as a reminder of God’s provision and faithfulness. Developing our spiritual gifts helps us to conform to God’s will for our life—the very definition of spiritual formation.
Acts of spiritual formation and discipline like prayer, fasting, meditation, and study can also help you figure out what your spiritual gifts should be. Submission to the will of God opens the door for blessings in the form of gifts that, in our natural state, we were resisting.
Since spiritual formation is key to both discerning and developing spiritual gifts, and since spiritual gifts are clearly a God-ordained part of how we minister to the entire Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:5), it becomes clear that spiritual formation itself is an absolutely indispensable part of the Christian journey.
Differentiated or divided?
Although it is easy to confuse differentiation with division, this is not the purpose of the spiritual gifts!
It certainly wasn’t what St. Paul had in mind as he laid out his letter to the Corinthian church. Instead of dividing the Body of Christ, the spiritual gifts unify believers by allowing each individual to fulfill their unique purpose in the community of faith.
When the gifts are practiced correctly, they always function to edify the Church and spread the Gospel (Palma, 1979, p. 19). The focus that brings these diverse abilities in sync is the person of Jesus, who functions as the Head of the Church and through the Holy Spirit is ultimately directing each and every gift given.1
St. Paul describes it this way,:
For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. (1 Cor. 12:12 ESV)
The gifts, although distributed in different kinds and quantities among the entire Body, are still part of the unified whole as result of the person of Jesus. In this way these distinctions are quite different from the worldly divisions that were plaguing the church at Corinth when St. Paul wrote this letter.2
Your calling and the gifts of the Spirit
Many thinkers have linked the spiritual gifts with various offices in the institutional church, but taking this too far misses the point.3
Paul isn’t so much highlighting how the gifts are different, but rather their unifying threads: the common source of the Holy Spirit’s power, Jesus' service, and God’s direction.4
That said, there’s no doubt the spiritual gifts are necessary for you to carry out your mission and purpose because they all directly correspond to real actions:
The list, of course, goes on. As gifts from God (not necessarily natural abilities) these deposits of grace also confirm you’re doing the will the God when you’re exercising your gift faithfully.[^5]
When you are faithfully and obediently exercising your God-given gift by the power of the Holy Spirit, you are functioning correctly in your capacity as an “organ” in the Body of Jesus.5 The spiritual gifts confirm that all good things come from God, and that as believers we can only truly and completely fulfill our purpose when we are conformed to his will, living in obedience, and practicing his commandments to us in love.
What are your spiritual gifts, and how has God worked through them? Let me know in the comments.
It won't always be pleasant, but I promise it will be worth it.
One of best things my wife and I have done for our marriage is intentionally making time to spend together, just the two of us. We’ve learned that this is absolutely essential for maintaining the close relationship that we need in order to have a healthy marriage and family.
We try to make time for a least a few moments each day, but sometimes we need a bit more time. So we have regular date nights where we can spend a couple hours together. Every now and then we’ll have the opportunity to spend the majority of the day together, just us. Those are treasured times.
Of course, they don’t just happen. Amber and I have to plan them, commit to them, and follow through. Intentionally making time for each other is a discipline.
I think that if you look at most of your relationships, you’ll find that you do this with your closest friends, mentors, and advisers. You have that extended, dedicated time for each other.
Don't forget God.
Do you do this for God? Do you spend time alone with God daily, weekly? Do you ever set aside a whole day or a large portion of your day just for prayer, Bible study, and sitting quietly with him?
Every analogy breaks down at some point, but here are some ways spending alone time with God is similar to dedicating exclusive time to any relationship:
Tips to develop a habit of spending alone time with God
First, determine if you’re ready to get outside your comfort zone. God never leaves us as we are. When we come into his presence we leave changed people (Tweet this). He is always at work in us. When you dedicate time to being alone with God, you are opening yourself up to a new level of intimacy with him. It won’t always be pleasant, but I promise it will be worth it.
Schedule your time. What gets scheduled, gets done. This is–in my opinion–a fact of life. Put your devotional time on the calendar, and treat it like you would any appointment with a VIP.
Don’t over-program. It’s great to go through a devotional book, keep a prayer journal, and perhaps even explore the liturgy as part of your personal time with God. That said, don’t forget to save a few moments to just be with him, without talking. I recommend Lectio Divina as way to practice listening to God.
What’s your greatest challenge when it comes to spending alone time with God? Let me know in the comments!
3 ways to think about the Trinity
The doctrine of the Triune nature of God is a core, essential teaching for historic, orthodox Christianity. This concept, officially formulated very early in the history of the faith, is part of what makes Christianity unique among world religions. Heretical challenges in the first centuries of the Church prompted leaders to join together in order to articulate an “official” doctrine. Examples of these proclamations include the Nicene Creed and of course the Athanasian creed (commonly read on Trinity Sunday in liturgical traditions).
Over time theologians have sought to explain and express this paradoxical concept in terms that make sense in their context. Interestingly enough, three primary ways of thinking about the Trinity emerged: the economic Trinity, the essential Trinity, and most recently the social Trinity.
Preparing for Pentecost: Are you trying to tame God the Holy Spirit?
5 surprising benefits of taking a digital sabbatical
I just took my family on camping trip in the woods of northern Arizona. I barely had cell service, so I couldn’t be on Twitter or Facebook or check my website stats. I went for walks, played with my kids, laughed with my friends, and enjoyed the cool weather.
I was reminded of how great it is to get a digital “reset,” a rest, a sabbatical. It’s really one of the most refreshing habits you can have in today’s world. Trust me, you need to do this if you don’t already. Here are 5 surprising benefits of taking a digital sabbatical for a day for a day or two–or longer.
How and why you should keep a prayer journal
Keeping a prayer journal has been simultaneously one of the most rewarding and one of the most difficult decisions I’ve tried to stick with. Ultimately it’s been worth it, despite my own inconsistencies.
What is a prayer journal?
A prayer journal is a little different from simply keeping a diary, because the point isn’t just to record your thoughts, feelings, and observations (although a prayer journal might include those things). Instead, a prayer journal serves to record your conversations with God. Not just requests, but what he is teaching and revealing to you, and what you are saying to him.
Are you feeling far from God?
Are you feeling far from God? You’re not alone. Even the greatest saints have struggled with doubt and the fear of being abandoned by God.
Remember Doubting Thomas? Even Mother Theresa endured a decades-long loss of feeling God’s presence.
Christians throughout the centuries have called this experience “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
16th century mystic John of Cross is known for his poems regarding this difficult (yet rewarding) experience. In this short, 3 minute video I’ll share some insight from John of the Cross that has helped me–and might help you–to make sense of the darkness.
I'd like to say I'm not a liar, but...
"There are things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind." ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky
I mean, I usually tell the truth to other people, about events and whether I like their haircut and all that.
I don’t willfully misrepresent the Gospel or the Scriptures.
I don’t use bait and switch tactics or advertise falsely in my business.
No, most of my lies are to myself. In my mind my motivations are pure and my actions righteous. If I endure the pain of inner honesty, though, there’s a lot of selfishness. A lot of choices I convinced myself were ok, but aren’t.
If I pry back a few grimy layers of self-deception it becomes obvious that most of the time I care more about how others perceive me than how they are hurting when I apologize.
I’m quick to verbally offer forgiveness, but so slow to actually let go in my heart.
I believe in holiness and real sanctification. God is making me new. But there’s a whole lot of work yet to be done. That’s why I know I still have to cling to grace for every fleeting choice and passing thought.
I can’t do without God’s gifts. Some days it’s hard for me to remember they’re even there…times like that make me so thankful to be explicitly invited to Jesus' table every week for bread and wine, forgiveness and promises, a renewed awareness of the Spirit inside me.
I’m grateful that when my heart condemns me, God is greater than my heart. Because when I’m real with myself, my heart is both condemning and condemnable.
So…I’d like to say I’m not a liar, but that just wouldn’t be honest.
This song pretty much sums it up, way better than I can do in writing.
How to avoid ministry burnout
Did you know that 90% of pastors feel fatigued and worn out every week?
That’s not okay.
The same percentage works well over 50 hours a week. Do a quick Google on issues contributing to ministry burnout and you’ll find overwork, stress and enough time for family near the top of the lists.
The exponential power of encouragement
Years ago I was going through a very tough time. I was a long way from home, feeling alone, and wondering how I was going to move forward. My dad, one of the wisest people I know, read me a short passage from Scripture on the phone:
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV)
I remember vividly the hope and life these words seemed to breathe into my situation.
Say hello to Trello, a new tool to organize your life and ministry
Think of Trello as note cards on digital steroids. I tend to resist new organizational tools these days, but when I started digging into this one, I was hooked. This could be a game changer for me.